Bowelscan is a Rotary program developed in 1982 in New South
Wales and now conducted by over 250 Rotary Clubs across Australia.
These Clubs issue approximately 150,000 kits during their annual Colorectal Screening programs. Since Bowelscan commenced, it is estimated that more than 1,000 people with bowel cancer and 5,000 with polyps have been detected.
In 1990, a National Committee comprising representatives from Rotary Districts operating Bowelscan programs was established to develop and maintain protocols.
Bowelscan is essentially a public awareness program seeking to increase community knowledge of bowel cancer and its symptoms. The project involves the distribution to the public of a simple test kit on which is collected small specimens of faeces for analysis.
The program is usually organised on a District basis with the District Governor appointing a committee to be responsible for its implementation.
The information in this booklet is, however, pitched at Club level and seeks to provide a broad outline of the responsibilities involved in undertaking a Bowelscan program.
Why Introduce a Program of this Nature?
These Clubs issue approximately 150,000 kits during their annual Colorectal Screening programs. Since Bowelscan commenced, it is estimated that more than 1,000 people with bowel cancer and 5,000 with polyps have been detected.
In 1990, a National Committee comprising representatives from Rotary Districts operating Bowelscan programs was established to develop and maintain protocols.
Bowelscan is essentially a public awareness program seeking to increase community knowledge of bowel cancer and its symptoms. The project involves the distribution to the public of a simple test kit on which is collected small specimens of faeces for analysis.
The program is usually organised on a District basis with the District Governor appointing a committee to be responsible for its implementation.
The information in this booklet is, however, pitched at Club level and seeks to provide a broad outline of the responsibilities involved in undertaking a Bowelscan program.
Why Introduce a Program of this Nature?
Cancer of the bowel is the commonest internal cancer to affect men and women in
western society. Over 9,000 Australians will be diagnosed as having bowel cancer
this year and over 4,500 will die of the disease.
My response…
“A BOWELSCAN MOVEMENT”
The
leaflet is pretty clear & unambiguous.
REMINDER!!
ROTARY BOWELSCAN
Test Kits available at all participating
pharmacies, only $10.
1st of June – 30thJune 2012.
Did you
get a chance to pick one up?
If you tried
last week, then it is likely you did not; because there are none left.
I tried
to pick one up from Amcal Chemist in Portland Victoria on Wednesday, 20th of June…&
was told, ‘they will be in tomorrow’ by a staff member.
So I went
in Thursday, 21st.
‘Oh-
we’ve sold out.’
So…what
about the ones I was emphatically told would be ‘in tomorrow’?
Not ‘might’;
‘perhaps’; ‘could be’…but WOULD be?
What
happened to cause the delay of a kit that has been distributed by the club
since 1982 in a program now conducted by 250 clubs across Australia- TWO of
which are in Portland?
‘Rotary have not dropped them in’ was the excuse.
Oh dear;
poor things. They must be very busy. I used to have things to do, before I took
up chasing these elusive Bowelscan kits full time.
Because
Bowel Cancer IS a matter of life and death.
But as
important as Bowel Cancer is…I can’t be dropping into the Chemist each day on
the off chance a kit makes an appearance. So I tried to put an alternative
strategy into place. I offered to pay the Chemist, and have wretched thing mailed
on to me when it arrived.
‘We don’t
want to take your money in case they don’t come.’
??? Pardon??? Wednesday I was told to come back
the following day- to collect something NO ONE in charge the very next day would take a bet on being in again with the kind
of certainty wherein a deposit could be taken?
Are we
talking about the same item? The Rotary
Bowelscan Kit that ‘has saved so many lives?’ as is so boldly emblazoned on the
leaflet advertising the alleged kits?
Has
anyone actually seen one of these kits? They
seem to be rare as the Snow Leopard.
Well- 200
people must have seen them. I was told by the Chemist, 200 were sold before
supplies of this hot item ran out. These kits sold out quicker than U2 tickets.
Pretty
much like the last lot a few months ago…which I also missed out on.
Two
seasons running this has happened.
The
Chemist took pains to tell me 200
have been sold this time- before selling out.
200 kits? In a town
of ….how many people? Are we 10,000 yet?
Would it not be sensible to
lay on a few more, given that ‘Cancer of the bowel is the commonest
internal cancer to affect men and women in western society, and over 9,000
Australians will be diagnosed as having bowel cancer this year and over 4,500
will die of the disease.’ as it says on the Rotary website?
Of course, this is sticking my nose into matters that do not concern me.
Like, I would have thought, the sales figures of the kit. How does knowing 200 have been sold help get one in my
hot little hands?? I mean…I only want ONE.
(one butt- one kit)
Upon
seeing my chagrin- the chemist THEN wanted to play the guilt card by making it
clear they were doing this out of the
kindness of their heart.
“It’s for
charity”, she exclaimed, as if I was supposed to drop to my knees and
genuflect.
WHAT, precisely,
is for charity? Claiming to stock something you have NOT got?
Let’s
look at the leaflet again, just to be clear;
ROTARY BOWELSCAN
Test Kits available at all participating
pharmacies, only $10.
1st of June – 30thJune 2012.
I took
time out of my day- in person on the 20th, and the 21st -
to collect my Kit. According to the leaflet, this diligent forward planning
should have given me nine clear days before expiry of the
offer. That is, if one applies the normal rules of time and space.
Of course
in the world of ‘charity’- normal rules do not apply. ‘Close enough’ and
‘whenever we get around to it’ seem to be the rule of thumb.
Would be
nice if Bowel Cancer was as vague & inexact; sadly…it is not.
I checked
the brochure again…just to be sure. And there was NO mention of ‘while stocks last’, or ‘limited supply’…
This
leaflet gives one the impression the hopes of getting a kit are safer than
mother’s milk.
And yet-
the chemist did not want to take a deposit, given that the chances of scoring a
fresh kit in the foreseeable future seemed about the same as me becoming the
Mayor.
The
famous leaflet says- right at the bottom- “Keep
this on your fridge!”
Why? For what purpose? As a work of Pop Art?? To keep the sprogs
crayon drawings company?
It can’t
be anything to do with reminding yourself to pick up a Bowelscan Kit.
BECAUSE THERE AREN’T ANY!!!
I know
what you’re thinking; ‘So they sold out!
So what?’
Well, I’m
glad you asked. I’m sick of being promised things- & then upon seeking them
out as directed- discovering they don’t exist. People generally come forward in
good faith, based on such advertising; and increasingly these days likely to be
disappointed and disillusioned.
Nothing
is quite what it seems, anymore.
I tended
to believe pretty much anything Rotary said, because they always have their
logo on those signs outside towns & municipalities.
They
have…or HAD the runs on the board; doing good works. Not anymore.
Life is
HARD ENOUGH without this evasive, misleading rubbish.
I will
remember this. And lament the decline of
the modern service organisation. No more charity for charities such as Rotary.
“But John…” I hear you say…”You’re
making a big deal over nothing!!”
Really? Bowel Cancer?
What did it say in the Portland Observer to co-incide with this grand Bowel
Scan Movement? ‘More than 5000 Australians die from bowel cancer every year and it is
the most common internal cancer for people over 40 years of age.’
Nothing?
‘According to
information from the Cancer Council Australia’s Cancer Education Programs, 90
per cent of cases detected early can be cured.’
Which, I
guess is the point of issuing this goddamn kit in the first place.
Nice
idea…if it actually worked.
‘But JOHN!!’ I hear them say “Go see a doctor if you can’t get a kit!!!”
OK.
Bowel Cancer
is one of the most painful forms of suffering known to mankind. (Keep this
under your hat; or they might ALL want one of these magic kits.)
We tend
to live in denial of nasties such as these- especially if we feel ok.
Quite
simply- we put these things off.
I seldom
think to myself, ‘You know what? It’s
Friday Night. I might get a meal, have a few drinks, watch a movie, then nip into
the doctor’s for a bit of work on the back door’.
And the
point of this kit is to appeal to those in the high-risk category who feel fine, but want to be safe rather
than sorry.
As you
know, the symptoms do not always manifest. So the illness remains undetected.
And when
pain comes, it is too late.
Knowing
this…and NOT wanting to bother the doctor, we (especially the blokes) would
rather pop into a shop, grab a kit, and pull off a bit of DIY sewerage work ourselves,
rather than making a fuss at the already overworked clinics.
It’s kind
of empowering. Like the old days, when we used to do things for ourselves,
rather than hand-passing stuff off onto others.
And it
tends to satisfy that voice in our head…the one that says ‘you really ought to do this; this might be the visit that changes your
life’.
Like a
random tatts ticket.
If only
getting the kit were as simple as a ticket in tats.
I went
in…twice. And got nothing. Nada. Zippedy-doo-da.
Stats say
by this stage- people like me will not bother again. And it might one day be
too late. And it all might have been avoided.
Now- I
might not be missed by many. But there
are a number of terrific people out there at risk of this bastard of a disease
who WILL be missed. There are people out there much nicer than me, who NEVER complain
or make a fuss when there is no kit. They just go away.
And they
never come back.
Then they
feel that pain in the gut. And they die.
Horribly.
Because
the chemist had run out of kits. Or Rotary had not ‘dropped them off’.
Well, “its
charity”; & everyone knows, that takes all the pain out of bowel cancer.
In a
pig’s eye. Or, rather…ass.
But I
digress; let us return to the Chemist & the absurdist theatre that was my
hunt for the elusive Bowelscan Kit.
Eventually,
when the Chemist had finished telling me how I should be ashamed of myself for
asking for something they only ever had out of the goodness of their hearts…
Not to
mention regaling me with all the facts and figures about how many kits they
used to have, the average rainfall on the plains in Spain and what have you…
Finally,
she admitted they might not see any more. Ever.
& I
got some useful advice. Try another chemist.
OK. That
might have been more helpful than ‘come back tomorrow’ in the first place.
I decided
to persist. I was determined.
This was
a pilgrimage of Arthurian proportions; a quest for the Holy Kit.
So I sallied
forth to the Guardian Chemist, and asked for the much desir’d Grail of Life.
The
BowelScan Kit.
“We have
sold out.”
Christ.
“Can you
come in tomorrow?” the second gatekeeper inquired.
Gee-willikers.
Unlikely.
I never
want to hear the word ‘Kit ‘Bowel’, ‘Chemist’ or ‘Rotary’ again in my life.
I think
I’d rather take my chances on something reliable. Like cancer. You have a
better chance of getting the cancer than the kit.
As I drove
home empty handed, I mused on how lucky some people are, having nothing better
to do but play silly games with citizenry stupid enough to believe the
leaflets.
What
fun…to play patty-cake with ordinary hard working folk who genuinely want to
participate in what seems like a reasonable, useful, sensible program…
Only to
find they are indulging in a few frames of ‘Ring Around The Rosy’.
More
bullshit.
As if we
don’t get enough of it.
It mounts
up so high- a person needs wings to remain aloft.
People
say they don’t understand the Carbon Tax. Don’t feel bad; a lot of people
don’t. And that is because it is built mostly on bullshit.
Like so
many features of so-called modern civilisation.
The hunt
for the Bowelscan Kit turned out to be just more of the same bullshit.
Annoying,
time consuming, soul destroying bullshit.
Who will compensate
me for the lost time, queuing for…NADA??
I don’t
want compensation; just a promise; an old fashioned, solemn undertaking.
Chemists…If
you are not certain you can supply something- in other words, follow through on
your promise- DON’T BOTHER!!
Stick to
what you CAN do.
And
Rotary? Stick to something you have an even chance of delivering on. Mowing
lawns, or making signs with your logo on it. Not fridge leaflets that deliver
empty promises, causing innocent bystanders to waste valuable life that could
be put to better use.
You may
have saved a life or two along the way in the past…but how many man hours have
been wasted trying to find a BowelScan Kit that does not exist?
And how
many frustrated, crestfallen people have died because they could not find a kit-
and never bothered to try again??
Think
about it.
Pretend
this matters.
Pretend
your WORD matters.
You do yourselves
no credit trumpeting a service you have no hope supplying, or sustaining.
Luckily
government and the corporations have prepared us for the peddling of such bullshit.
Now our
‘service’ organisations are engaging in the self-same bullshit.
Rotary
failed to provide a service as promised.
The Chemist
tried to cover this shortfall with five kinds of bullshit.
Shame on
you.
Think
this doesn’t matter? Storm in a teacup?
Try
watching someone died a painful death from bowel cancer. & then tell me
this does not really matter, because it’s Rotary, & it’s for charity.
& while
we are at it- we can hang our heads & lament; offering up epitaphs for all those
poor souls, not to mention charity organisations…
That have died in the ass.
“A BOWELSCAN MOVEMENT”
The
leaflet is pretty clear & unambiguous.
REMINDER!!
ROTARY BOWELSCAN
Test Kits available at all participating
pharmacies, only $10.
1st of June – 30thJune 2012.
Did you
get a chance to pick one up?
If you tried
last week, then it is likely you did not; because there are none left.
I tried
to pick one up from Amcal Chemist on Wednesday, 20th of June…&
was told, ‘they will be in tomorrow’ by a staff member.
So I went
in Thursday, 21st.
‘Oh-
we’ve sold out.’
So…what
about the ones I was emphatically told would be ‘in tomorrow’?
Not ‘might’;
‘perhaps’; ‘could be’…but WOULD be?
What
happened to cause the delay of a kit that has been distributed by the club
since 1982 in a program now conducted by 250 clubs across Australia- TWO of
which are in Portland?
‘Rotary have not dropped them in’ was the excuse.
Oh dear;
poor things. They must be very busy. I used to have things to do, before I took
up chasing these elusive Bowelscan kits full time.
Because
Bowel Cancer IS a matter of life and death.
But as
important as Bowel Cancer is…I can’t be dropping into the Chemist each day on
the off chance a kit makes an appearance. So I tried to put an alternative
strategy into place. I offered to pay the Chemist, and have wretched thing mailed
on to me when it arrived.
‘We don’t
want to take your money in case they don’t come.’
??? Pardon??? Wednesday I was told to come back
the following day- to collect something NO ONE in charge the very next day would take a bet on being in again with the kind
of certainty wherein a deposit could be taken?
Are we
talking about the same item? The Rotary
Bowelscan Kit that ‘has saved so many lives?’ as is so boldly emblazoned on the
leaflet advertising the alleged kits?
Has
anyone actually seen one of these kits? They
seem to be rare as the Snow Leopard.
Well- 200
people must have seen them. I was told by the Chemist, 200 were sold before
supplies of this hot item ran out. These kits sold out quicker than U2 tickets.
Pretty
much like the last lot a few months ago…which I also missed out on.
Two
seasons running this has happened.
The
Chemist took pains to tell me 200
have been sold this time- before selling out.
200 kits? In a town
of ….how many people? Are we 10,000 yet?
Would it not be sensible to
lay on a few more, given that ‘Cancer of the bowel is the commonest
internal cancer to affect men and women in western society, and over 9,000
Australians will be diagnosed as having bowel cancer this year and over 4,500
will die of the disease.’ as it says on the Rotary website?
Of course, this is sticking my nose into matters that do not concern me.
Like, I would have thought, the sales figures of the kit. How does knowing 200 have been sold help get one in my
hot little hands?? I mean…I only want ONE.
(one butt- one kit)
Upon
seeing my chagrin- the chemist THEN wanted to play the guilt card by making it
clear they were doing this out of the
kindness of their heart.
“It’s for
charity”, she exclaimed, as if I was supposed to drop to my knees and
genuflect.
WHAT, precisely,
is for charity? Claiming to stock something you have NOT got?
Let’s
look at the leaflet again, just to be clear;
ROTARY BOWELSCAN
Test Kits available at all participating
pharmacies, only $10.
1st of June – 30thJune 2012.
I took
time out of my day- in person on the 20th, and the 21st -
to collect my Kit. According to the leaflet, this diligent forward planning
should have given me nine clear days before expiry of the
offer. That is, if one applies the normal rules of time and space.
Of course
in the world of ‘charity’- normal rules do not apply. ‘Close enough’ and
‘whenever we get around to it’ seem to be the rule of thumb.
Would be
nice if Bowel Cancer was as vague & inexact; sadly…it is not.
I checked
the brochure again…just to be sure. And there was NO mention of ‘while stocks last’, or ‘limited supply’…
This
leaflet gives one the impression the hopes of getting a kit are safer than
mother’s milk.
And yet-
the chemist did not want to take a deposit, given that the chances of scoring a
fresh kit in the foreseeable future seemed about the same as me becoming the
Mayor.
The
famous leaflet says- right at the bottom- “Keep
this on your fridge!”
Why? For what purpose? As a work of Pop Art?? To keep the sprogs
crayon drawings company?
It can’t
be anything to do with reminding yourself to pick up a Bowelscan Kit.
BECAUSE THERE AREN’T ANY!!!
I know
what you’re thinking; ‘So they sold out!
So what?’
Well, I’m
glad you asked. I’m sick of being promised things- & then upon seeking them
out as directed- discovering they don’t exist. People generally come forward in
good faith, based on such advertising; and increasingly these days likely to be
disappointed and disillusioned.
Nothing
is quite what it seems, anymore.
I tended
to believe pretty much anything Rotary said, because they always have their
logo on those signs outside towns & municipalities.
They
have…or HAD the runs on the board; doing good works. Not anymore.
Life is
HARD ENOUGH without this evasive, misleading rubbish.
I will
remember this. And lament the decline of
the modern service organisation. No more charity for charities such as Rotary.
“But John…” I hear you say…”You’re
making a big deal over nothing!!”
Really? Bowel Cancer?
What did it say in the Portland Observer to co-incide with this grand Bowel
Scan Movement? ‘More than 5000 Australians die from bowel cancer every year and it is
the most common internal cancer for people over 40 years of age.’
Nothing?
‘According to
information from the Cancer Council Australia’s Cancer Education Programs, 90
per cent of cases detected early can be cured.’
Which, I
guess is the point of issuing this goddamn kit in the first place.
Nice
idea…if it actually worked.
‘But JOHN!!’ I hear them say “Go see a doctor if you can’t get a kit!!!”
OK.
Bowel Cancer
is one of the most painful forms of suffering known to mankind. (Keep this
under your hat; or they might ALL want one of these magic kits.)
We tend
to live in denial of nasties such as these- especially if we feel ok.
Quite
simply- we put these things off.
I seldom
think to myself, ‘You know what? It’s
Friday Night. I might get a meal, have a few drinks, watch a movie, then nip into
the doctor’s for a bit of work on the back door’.
And the
point of this kit is to appeal to those in the high-risk category who feel fine, but want to be safe rather
than sorry.
As you
know, the symptoms do not always manifest. So the illness remains undetected.
And when
pain comes, it is too late.
Knowing
this…and NOT wanting to bother the doctor, we (especially the blokes) would
rather pop into a shop, grab a kit, and pull off a bit of DIY sewerage work ourselves,
rather than making a fuss at the already overworked clinics.
It’s kind
of empowering. Like the old days, when we used to do things for ourselves,
rather than hand-passing stuff off onto others.
And it
tends to satisfy that voice in our head…the one that says ‘you really ought to do this; this might be the visit that changes your
life’.
Like a
random tatts ticket.
If only
getting the kit were as simple as a ticket in tats.
I went
in…twice. And got nothing. Nada. Zippedy-doo-da.
Stats say
by this stage- people like me will not bother again. And it might one day be
too late. And it all might have been avoided.
Now- I
might not be missed by many. But there
are a number of terrific people out there at risk of this bastard of a disease
who WILL be missed. There are people out there much nicer than me, who NEVER complain
or make a fuss when there is no kit. They just go away.
And they
never come back.
Then they
feel that pain in the gut. And they die.
Horribly.
Because
the chemist had run out of kits. Or Rotary had not ‘dropped them off’.
Well, “its
charity”; & everyone knows, that takes all the pain out of bowel cancer.
In a
pig’s eye. Or, rather…ass.
But I
digress; let us return to the Chemist & the absurdist theatre that was my
hunt for the elusive Bowelscan Kit.
Eventually,
when the Chemist had finished telling me how I should be ashamed of myself for
asking for something they only ever had out of the goodness of their hearts…
Not to
mention regaling me with all the facts and figures about how many kits they
used to have, the average rainfall on the plains in Spain and what have you…
Finally,
she admitted they might not see any more. Ever.
& I
got some useful advice. Try another chemist.
OK. That
might have been more helpful than ‘come back tomorrow’ in the first place.
I decided
to persist. I was determined.
This was
a pilgrimage of Arthurian proportions; a quest for the Holy Kit.
So I sallied
forth to the Guardian Chemist, and asked for the much desir’d Grail of Life.
The
BowelScan Kit.
“We have
sold out.”
Christ.
“Can you
come in tomorrow?” the second gatekeeper inquired.
Gee-willikers.
Unlikely.
I never
want to hear the word ‘Kit ‘Bowel’, ‘Chemist’ or ‘Rotary’ again in my life.
I think
I’d rather take my chances on something reliable. Like cancer. You have a
better chance of getting the cancer than the kit.
As I drove
home empty handed, I mused on how lucky some people are, having nothing better
to do but play silly games with citizenry stupid enough to believe the
leaflets.
What
fun…to play patty-cake with ordinary hard working folk who genuinely want to
participate in what seems like a reasonable, useful, sensible program…
Only to
find they are indulging in a few frames of ‘Ring Around The Rosy’.
More
bullshit.
As if we
don’t get enough of it.
It mounts
up so high- a person needs wings to remain aloft.
People
say they don’t understand the Carbon Tax. Don’t feel bad; a lot of people
don’t. And that is because it is built mostly on bullshit.
Like so
many features of so-called modern civilisation.
The hunt
for the Bowelscan Kit turned out to be just more of the same bullshit.
Annoying,
time consuming, soul destroying bullshit.
Who will compensate
me for the lost time, queuing for…NADA??
I don’t
want compensation; just a promise; an old fashioned, solemn undertaking.
Chemists…If
you are not certain you can supply something- in other words, follow through on
your promise- DON’T BOTHER!!
Stick to
what you CAN do.
And
Rotary? Stick to something you have an even chance of delivering on. Mowing
lawns, or making signs with your logo on it. Not fridge leaflets that deliver
empty promises, causing innocent bystanders to waste valuable life that could
be put to better use.
You may
have saved a life or two along the way in the past…but how many man hours have
been wasted trying to find a BowelScan Kit that does not exist?
And how
many frustrated, crestfallen people have died because they could not find a kit-
and never bothered to try again??
Think
about it.
Pretend
this matters.
Pretend
your WORD matters.
You do yourselves
no credit trumpeting a service you have no hope supplying, or sustaining.
Luckily
government and the corporations have prepared us for the peddling of such bullshit.
Now our
‘service’ organisations are engaging in the self-same bullshit.
Rotary
failed to provide a service as promised.
The Chemist
tried to cover this shortfall with five kinds of bullshit.
Shame on
you.
Think
this doesn’t matter? Storm in a teacup?
Try
watching someone died a painful death from bowel cancer. & then tell me
this does not really matter, because it’s Rotary, & it’s for charity.
& while
we are at it- we can hang our heads & lament; offering up epitaphs for all those
poor souls, not to mention charity organisations…
That have died in the ass.
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